that is where I would like to be right now drifting along the sea somewhere on a boat posing for a photograph everywhere reveling in being a tourist not stuck in a daze i cannot work my way out of waking up at two am to text messages from scott about council then falling back to tumultuous sleep with dreams i can vaguely remember in the latest one khesa turned into a bird i could not catch but there were many birds and they all looked the same they had very large heads and small feet but they would not fall over for they could fly. i stopped doing my world lit assignment but that made me sound like a slacker i am not a slacker cause i have done more than what is necessary but that never feels enough maybe i am a slacker then because i settle for what is not complete.. i found a place that serves pancakes all day and pancakes with everything and i watched two episode of throwdown with bobby flay in the second one he competed with some fat black lady from harlem at making chicken waffles which at the time sounded like a good idea now.. it just doesn't seem right people shouldn't do things like that but i will not worry about what is beyond my control for i am thirsty because my mommer fed me onion juice and honey to make my throat feel better everytime i swallow a spoonful i make a face to make sure she knows i am thoroughly not enjoying it but i do enjoy it i love her labours of love i hugged my godma today and i told her i was feeling sick and she told me i would feel better and i did i do i love you godma even though i never see you enough in between thoughts i bite both my thumbs the left first then the right and the skin on my middle right finger when my thumbs are sore from all the biting sometimes like now sleep is all i want.. just some human sleep. am i wry? nooooooo.