today i think is friday and i spent the afternoon basking in the afternoon sun on my bed and trying to sleep around kushy who conquered the square patch quilts on my comforter. sleeping in the shape of a starfish was most comfortable though while reading i laid in the shape of a bent flower stalk kushy was a leaf. later i will be going to the airport to see abigail off. small abigail with the big voice. abigail whom I performed with every talentime on monday in primary school. abigail who introduced me to stuff like That's so Raven and Jesus. important abigail. byebye abigail. i love you but i still don't like your name. when i begin to miss you i might..

four days ago the bright eyes album i ordered in december arrived. i have yet to unearth the contents of the cd for i feel as though there should be a proper time to listen to it and to listen to conor o berst and read and reread his lyrics that are anything but jejune and cry at his beautiful beautiful lyrics though the tears never come but they should because his lyrics are deserving of that. though his lyrics were never meant for me or you they were meant for o berst himself i think i can never say for sure. i have not yet heard the song but these are the lyrics to firewall.

I do my best to sleep through the caterwaul
Ther classicists, the posturing avant-garde
I bought a grey macaw named him Jules Vern
He'll probably outlive me he's a bright bird
Keeps me company I teach him new words

I saw a hologram at the theme park
She looked as real as me through the white fog
Then she melted down to her ankles
Turned into a million-watt candle
If I knew where she went I would follow

Walking through the land of tomorrow
Martian trinkets, plastic Apollos
In the sunshine try to act normal
My veins are full of flat cherry-cola
Slept on a bench by the rollercoaster

Dreamt I was riding on a motorbike
Lion of Judah painted on the side

I'm doing fine, I'm back in the Palisades
Life's a wash, a pastoral school play
China shops and cold ivory towers
I and I make toasts to the Caesars
Forcing down the dregs of Decembers

Madeline she spins in a slow bang
All through the house the strong smell of burnt sage
Let's make it clean and run out the spirits
I know a diving bell when I hear it
We're going down now under the surface

Light to dark can shift in an instant
Feeling close but keeping my distance
On all fours she's just so insistent
Fills my mind with jump ropes and slit wrists
Bust through the Firewall into heaven

Then I'm standing in that blinding light
Crooked crosses falling from the sky

Seen yeah seen by I and I