"What is it?"

"You had to choose, and hope to choose the smaller evil."

"You had to choose," I told Jonathan, "and hope to choose the smaller evil."

"And I chose."

"And he chose."

"What did you choose?"
"When they captured our town-"

"Kolki?"

"Yes, but do not tell him. There is no reason to tell him."

"We could go in the morning."

"No."

"Perhaps it would be a good thing."

"No," he said. "My ghosts are not there."

(You have ghosts?)

(Of course I have ghosts.)

(What are your ghosts like?)
(They are on the insides of the lids of my eyes.)

(This is also where my ghosts reside.)

(You have ghosts?)

(Of course I have ghosts.)

(But you are a child.)

(I am not a child.)

(But you have not known love.)

(These are my ghosts, the spaces amid love.)

Second day of school tomtomz and already I am down with a fever and respiratory infection but since I am all-loving I shall go to school and frolic about and spread the cancer for the cure. Meeting teachers was funny because Beatrice and I could picture Mr Azmi and Mr Chooi being monks in remote cavernous mountains *ZEN*

'I feel too much. That's what's going on.'

'Do you think one can feel too much? Or just feel in the wrong ways?'

'My insides don't match up with my outsides.'

'Do anyone's insides and outsides match up?'

'I don't know. I'm only me.'

'Maybe that's what a person's personality is: the difference between the inside and outside.'

'But it's worse for me.'

'I wonder if everyone thinks it's worse for him.'

'Probably. But it really is worse for me."